Sex Slaves in America

Sex slaves

Statistics in the USA

A nation gone astray

We chase “evildoers” abroad

Yet at home ask God

To “bless America”

While we disregard

The girls within our country

Being brutalized and abused

Raped and economically used

Driven into impoverishment

Gross darkness and enslavement

Beaten, pimped, and dumped

Without a bed, left for dead

Where is dear Big Brother?

How abut dear old Dad?

Why is such violence tolerated

And with it how come we’re not mad?

Why do we disregard the helpless

Carry on in a state of ignorance

And bury our heads deep in the sand?

What has become of this land?

Destitute, corrupt, and vile

Full of pimps, prostitutes, and pedophiles

Men who lie, cheat, and beguile

The innocence of tender young girls

Taking them captive for a devilish whirl

Around the dirty old block,

As they aggressively stock

Seek to seduce and reduce

A little one’s self-esteem

After which they can control and be mean

Demean, demoralize, and realize

Their evil, gratuitous aims

As they seek to manipulate and tame

The fight for right within

If necessary drug and than sell them

Threaten murderously to kill them

If they dare to talk or walk

Away from such a polluted environment

Easier said than done

Once a derelict has made you

His someone with whom to have fun

To jeopardize your future

Tell your family

Betray your trust

To gratify his own lust

Then to sustain his ongoing greed

Beyond his fleshly needs

Oh dear God, what has become of us?

God Almighty come quickly to help us!

Liberate us from ourselves and sin

Free us from the enemy within

From the tormentors and oppressors

Making prey of young girls

Both here and from afar

Be they from the ghetto

Or the big cities like Tokyo

Countries enslaved beyond comprehension

Cambodia, Thailand, the Philippines, and Ukraine

Police involved in duplicity just the same

Allowing pimps to pay them off

Be it monetarily or sexually

This is the plight of humanity

From the basements in Brooklyn

To the strongholds Latin

From Costa Rica to Nicaragua

America to Australia

England to Russia

The devil has his emissaries

Working viciously and tirelessly

To toil and spoil young ladies

Before they can mature and blossom

Be the powerful princesses

They are called to be

To discover their identity

Impact and influence society

Marry and make a family

Sadly most never escape

Neither get this opportunity

Devastated and broken within

They feel incapable to win

Incapacitated and powerless to escape

Therefore we must go and boldly take

Them out of the sex slave prisons

With a vengeance and passion

To provide them new life

Before we are overtaken

By sick, perverted men

Who use, abuse, and sell them

61% of all rape victims

Are younger than 18.

This is beyond mean!

90% of young women

Involved in prostitution

Were sexually abused as children.

80%-90% of young women

In the criminal or juvenile justice system

Have been physically or sexually abused.

This is justice abandoned and misused.

The average age of entry into prostitution is 12.

There are between 100,000 and 3 million adolescents

Involved in prostitution annually in this country.

As long as they are, let us not think we are free!

Young women now account for

24% of all juveniles in detention facilities.

What have become of our liberties?

Such bondage cannot be legislated away

For these girls we must fast and pray

Aggressively drive the pedophiles away

Seek to show compassion in action

Help, rescue and save them today

Before the Johns come out to play.

African-American young women comprise

Almost 50% of all young women

In secure detention, while Hispanics

Make up 13%. The result of fathers absent.

The juvenile female offender of the 1990s

Is likely to come from a single-parent home,

Lack appropriate social and work related skills

And is also likely to be under age 15.

Life in America is not as it seems

Their is a dark culture behind the scenes

Demolishing, and destroying our daughters

While we kick back on the couch and watch TV

What than will you do for your country

To uphold the cause for freedom and liberty?

Don’t sit back and attack, pointing the finger

Saying che sara sara, whatever will be, will be

Get up, hit the streets, demand change!

Cry out as a voice of righteousness and rearrange

The mishaps in society by which girls are estranged

From beloved family and friends,

As their lives are brought to a bitter end.

Paul Davis is a FL real estate professional, life coach (relational & professional), worldwide minister, and change master.

Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; Are You Ready for True Love; Stop Lusting & Start Living; Waves of God; Supernatural Fire; Poems that Propel the Planet; and God vs. Religion.

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has served in many war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His Dream-Maker Inc. is building dreams, breaking limitations & reviving nations.

Paul’s Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

America’s Next Top Model Designer Charged With Sexual Assault

Last week, fashion designer Anand Jon was charged with six felonies by the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s office. He faces complaints regarding vulgar acts on a minor and rape of multiple victims he allegedly committed between October 2004 and March 5, 2007.

Jon, a 33-year old Indian-born fashion designer, has made numerous appearances on the reality show America’s Next Top Model. Known for embracing modern technology in his designs, he has uniquely established himself as a much-admired designer to a number of celebrities and infamous icons like Paris Hilton, Princess Olivia de Burbon, Gloria Estefan, Alanis Morissette, Janet Jackson, Mary J Blige, Michelle Rodriguez, Tara Reid and The Al Saud Royal Family just to name a few.

His frequent participation on the show America’s Next Top Model has added positive exposure to the well-established designer. However with the charges he is currently faced with, no amount of America’s Next Top Model publicity can absolve him from the noise surrounding his accusations. If proven guilty, Jon could be convicted for life. His bail has been fixed at $1.3 million.

In addition, sexual charges are not the only buzzing news following fashion designer. Apparently, his eligibility to work in the United States is also in question. Even though his lawyer maintains that he came to the US with a professional work visa, people from Immigration have already included Jon in their watch list.

And despite the formal complaint against him, he remains firm with his denial, asserting his firm respect for women. In fact, his attorney explained that Jon is in a difficult position having been surrounded by numerous women who aspires to make it big in the industry. He also stresses the high probability of these women making “false allegations” against his client. His first court date is scheduled on April 4, 2007.

Interiew with Aline Zoldbrod, Author of “Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life”

We are pleased to have Aline with us today as she gives as insight on how non-sexual family of origin issues form a persons sexuality.

Irene: Aline, your book “Sex Smart” is a book like none other. Please tell our audience what your book is about.

Aline: “SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It” explodes the myth that sexual development is simple and Straight forward. SexSmart’s central message is that healthy sexual development actually is quite varied and complicated. We each come to our adult sexuality having walked down our own special path. And many families in which there was no specific, sexual abuse actually do cause profound damage to childrens’ developing sexuality.

SexSmart explains how the way you were raised in your family– whether you were touched nicely or cruelly or not at all, whether you could depend on your parents to take care of you, whether you got empathy, whether you trusted your parents and your siblings, what the power relationships were, and even whether you were encouraged to have friends–all deeply affect whether you will be able to enjoy sexual pleasure, and also whether you will feel safe being sexual with someone to whom you are emotionally attached. In SexSmart I describe fourteen “Milestones of Sexual Development.”

Irene: How does whether or not you got empathy from your parents have any bearing on sexuality?

Aline: Good parents are empathetic. They let themselves feel what their child is feeling, and then they respond to what the child needs. The more that the child sees that parents will respond to her needs, the more the child trusts that the energy expended to communicate is worth the effort. And so trust, and communication skills, build.

People who did not receive empathy from their parents have many problems with sexual(and emotional) relationships as adults. For instance, if you didn’t get empathy, you might be deeply afraid of getting hurt, so you may avoid getting into relationships altogether. You may be lacking in practice in communicating, or believe that it is pointless to talk about what you want (since you believe no one cares about how you feel.) So if you then do get into a sexual relationship, it is difficult for you to talk about your sexual likes and dislikes, or even to talk about it when a particular sexual activity is causing you anxiety, discomfort or pain.

If an unempathic parent was neglectful or abusive, there is a good chance that you will be chronically tense. If you can’t let yourself relax and be soothed, by definition, you will not be able to enjoy sexual pleasure in the context of a tender, steady relationship.
(You may still be able to enjoy the excitement of a new, lust-filled one, though.)

Irene: What inspired you to write this book?

Aline: Being able to have a sexual bond with a beloved partner is one of the great joys of life. It’s a spiritual, deep, health-giving experience. Sex shouldn’t be a source of anxiety, doubt, shame, or pain. It saddens me that so many people haven’t experienced their sexuality as a force for good in their life. I believe that reading and working through SexSmart can be a path to sexual enlightenment and sexual freedom for many people. As a sex therapist, I have met and helped hundreds and hundreds of men and women who are unhappy with their sexual selves. But as an author, I can help people I never even met.

There are so many women and men in America and in the world who do not enjoy being sexual. They don’t enjoy feeling sexual as a solo activity, and they don’t feel safe and comfortable being sexual with a partner. Some of them feel guilty. Some of them experience sex as needing to be a perfect performance each time, which spoils it. Some of them have sexual dysfunctions caused by anxiety and lack of education. And some had childhoods that were flawed in such a way that they literally do not know what it feels like to experience sexual tinglings and urgings in their own body.

You would be surprised to know how many people think that in reality, sexuality isn’t that great, that sexual pleasure is nothing much, and that all the emphasis on sex is a big media hoax! I hope that readers will use SexSmart as a map, guiding them to un-do the damage suffered by growing up in a dysfunctional family.

Irene: Why would some people think that sex is a big media hoax?

Aline: Each of us only knows the experience we have in our own body. People who have never experienced sexual pleasure in their own bodies have no reason to believe other people who insist that sex feels great.

There are large numbers of people who never learned that any kind of touch feels good. Many people grew up in “good” families with parents who were responsible, but unaffectionate. So they don’t unconsciously or consciously link touch and love. Others grew up with parents who were unbelievably anxious, and they absorbed so much anxiety from their parents’ touch that they associate touch with anxiety.

Far too many people grew up in families where they witnessed or experienced violence, which is devastating to sexuality. Witnessing or experiencing violence alters one’s feelings about being safe in one’s own body. I believe it can be as negative an experience, sexually, as some kinds of sexual abuse. Witnessing or being the direct victim of violence in your family teaches you that it’s not safe to love or trust. It teaches you that it’s not a good idea to ever let down your guard emotionally. It literally changes people’s “BodyMaps” so that it becomes impossible to relax, let go of control, and allow another person to pleasure you. The body remembers! If you were slapped in the face, for instance, you might flinch when someone you love tries to caress your face. If you came from a physically violent family, you can learn to experience sexual pleasure. But to do so, you have to process what happened to you, not minimize it.

Think of your associations to touch and trust as the first step in a
cascade of good physical and emotional associations you must feel first in your body before you can feel the building up of sexual arousal:

love=> touch => trust=> love=> safety=> drift=> float

love=> touch => trust=> love=> safety=> drift=> float => AROUSAL

Consistent, good experience with loving touch helps you to make
crucial links which you need. You need to be able to link love with touch, and touch with safety. If you can’t make these associations, you need to re-learn touch. Otherwise, you may never experience sex as pleasurable.

Irene: You claim that “sexual abuse” can happen in families in where there was not, literally, sex abuse. Please explain what that means.

Aline: Most people have an inadequate, shallow sense of what the building blocks of healthy sexuality are. Healthy sexuality is not based just in what you were told about sex, or in your appropriate or inappropriate sexual experiences in your family. It’s about what you witnessed and learned in your family about trust, safety, touch, gender relationships, anxiety, power, self worth, your body, and friendship. One basic motivation to be sexual comes from what you learned about being in relationship to another person. Was it worth getting close to another human being emotionally, let alone sexually?

People completely underestimate the effects of neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or having an alcoholic or drug addicted parent on their sexuality. I have begun to call these other kinds of abuse “non sexual abuse.”

Sexual abuse is a horrible thing. However, I am certain that in terms of numbers of people affected, more people in America have sexual issues caused by growing up in families in which there was NON-SEXUAL abuse–such as lack of loving touch, alcoholism or drug abuse, physical violence, emotional abuse, or neglect–than were hurt by actual sexual abuse.

Irene: What would be some sexual issues that are caused by, what you say, “non-sexual abuse”?

Aline: Well, as an example, let me just pick the Milestone of Touch, and show you two lists from SexSmart. Readers should ask themselves what are their associations to touch.
You can’t enjoy sex if you don’t like touch. I like to say that touch is the “Ground Zero” of sexuality. People who had a good experience with touch have wonderful associations to touch.

Here are some good associations from my patients. Touch equals: pleasure, relaxation, fun, softness, good memories, comfort, normal, help, connection, I’m worth touching, calming, indulgence, massage, deep breathing, good mother, good father, sensuality, a worthwhile activity, good sexual memories.
good sexual memories

Contrast this to the associations to touch that people have when there was lack of affection, neglect, or violence. Touch equals: fear, controlling, out of control, awkward, pain, numb, tense/anxiety, guilt, startle response, bad memories, discomfort, weird, danger, confusion, what does this mean?, jumpy, is this proper? Uptight, holding breath, no mother, bad mother, no father, bad father, boring, a waste of time, no sexual memories.

Irene: Your hope is that people who read “Sex Smart” will see themselves in the book, or that some of the information will speak to them. What particular areas do you feel are the most important for the readers to relate to.

Aline: It’s funny. I have to say that every person reading SexSmart responds to different pieces of it. SexSmart discusses sexual development sequentially, beginning with birth and going through my fourteen Milestones of Sexual Development. (For instance, touch, empathy, trust, body image, gender identity, and so on.) Different readers’ families created problems at each Milestone. Readers absorb the book and highlight the parts that speak to them, personally, along with the workbook questions that challenge them the most.

Irene: In your practice, do you see more of one particular issue, than others? If so, what is it, and please explain why this particular issue is more prevalent?

Aline: Well, Irene, coming from a dysfunctional family can lead to just about every sexual dysfunction in the world, but I’ll comment on a few which I see frequently. The first is probably longstanding low sexual desire. People who grow up in families where there is very little tenderness, touch, caring, empathy, or safety have a hard time trusting in an emotional sense, and they also have an almost impossible time relaxing in their body. So it is common to meet people from difficult families who have never experienced sexual desire in their entire lives, because they have never allowed themselves to relax, breathe deeply, and allow sexual feelings and impulses to emerge and percolate through their bodies. They literally don’t know, can’t identify, and can’t even tolerate sexual feelings. So they don’t believe they can have sexual feelings.

Another typical effect of growing up with “non-sexual sexual abuse” is sexual addiction, especially in men. It is common for boys who grow up in unaffectionate, neglectful, emotionally abusive, or violent homes to discover masturbation as a way to self-soothe. When they were sad or scared, they masturbated. Having an orgasm is like a drug; it changes body chemistry and temporarily dulls painful feelings. It creates a habit of using sex as a crutch, a pattern where men feel that sex is their most important need or that sex is THE cure to unhappy feelings.

Irene: Your book is of importance for parents who want their children to grow up and have positive views of their sexuality. In what ways do you believe parents can affirm to their children that their bodies and their sexuality be accepted in a positive manner?

Aline: I think parents’ biggest obligation to their children is to address their own sexuality. How can you create a child with healthy sexuality if you aren’t comfortable using touch to soothe, or if you don’t feel happy in your own body, or if you think sex is dirty or scary, or if you believe all people of the opposite gender are evil or cruel? If your sexuality was damaged in your own family of origin, fix that first.

Abuse of all kinds goes down the generations. When you take the steps to stop denying what went wrong in your own family, when you have the courage to say “ouch!,” to get into therapy to change things, the buck stops with you. The brave person who goes into therapy and admits the pain he or she suffered can stop the cycle of abuse (of whatever kind) for all the generations which come after him or her.

Irene: I understand you saying that parents need to address their own sexual issues first. However, I would imagine some people don’t feel they have issues because they actually believe their beliefs about sex are correct. Some may even be influenced by religious beliefs. How do you propose to address these parents and have them be aware of the damage they are causing their children?

Aline: I think that most parents want their children to be able to grow up and enjoy being sexual once they are married. Conservative parents do want to make sure that children are celibate BEFORE marriage. I hope that SexSmart can get the word out to all parents about how important affectionate touch, empathy, and trust, and good power relationships are to children. If children are allowed to explore their own bodies, which is important, and if they also have these basic Milestones of Sexual Development, they will grow into sexually healthy adults. If you want to raise your child conservatively, I think you’ll find a lot of useful information about how to insure that your child turns out to be both responsive and responsible sexually as an adult.

Irene: Taking self-responsibility is the most important aspect of creating a healthy view of one’s own sexuality and what one does with it. Why do you believe that others often influence unhealthy views? What are some of the most common unhealthy views that our society has imposed upon us?

Aline: It is normal to be influenced by the people around us. It’s a fact of life. I wish that there were more normal looking people on TV and in the magazines. With all these thin, perfect, surgically enhanced, never-aging bodies around us, it’s hard for many women and men to feel that their own natural looking body is sexy enough. Sadly, a lot of people, women especially, seem to feel that only beautiful, thin women “deserve” to enjoy sex. Actually, as they say, the biggest sex organ is between your ears. How you feel about sexuality and being sexual is the most important determinant of whether you will feel sexual. Normal people have imperfect bodies. And imperfect bodies are perfectly able to feel sexual pleasure!

Irene: Yes, TV and magazines do portray a specific stature that our society seems to think is “normal.” So do books. A lot of the romance novels portray “sexy” women and men and readers escape by becoming the character. Why do you believe that people create their own reality through what they see or read?

Aline: Well, as far as we know, fantasizing seems to be a uniquely human trait. As long as it’s in balance, as long as people aren’t avoiding dealing constructively with issues in their own lives, there is nothing wrong with fantasizing. Sometimes, our fantasies help us see what our goals and dreams for ourselves are, in a way that can be constructive.

Irene: You want to reach specific populations with “Sex Smart.” Who do you think would benefit most by reading this book?

Aline: I would recommend SexSmart to anyone who is baffled about why you are who you are sexually, or for anyone who feels confused, unhappy, or ashamed of your sexuality.

I do think that SexSmart might hold a special key to understanding for certain kinds of readers: First, if you are someone who is terribly frightened of getting both sexually and emotionally close to another person, you can use SexSmart to understand your own fears.

Secondly, I hope to reach people affected by physical violence. SexSmart talks in detail about the changes violence caused in your Body Map, in your sense of trust, in your beliefs about gender relationships, and in creating anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. Family violence may be common, unfortunately, but it is NOT normal, and it shuts down the ability to feel sexual pleasure in close relationships for many people.

Thirdly, if you feel you were destined NOT to have sexual feelings, SexSmart may help you understand why you feel that way. If your sense of being asexual is partly because of your family of origin, SexSmart can help you discover how to become more comfortable with feeling sexual stirrings in your body and toward others.Ironically, on the other hand, many people who have sexual compulsions, who feel insatiable sexual feelings, also find answers in SexSmart. Lastly, I want to reach people who grew up in homes where they suffered emotional abuse or neglect.

Irene: “Sex Smart” is not only a book to read, but also a workbook. Please give us a little insight about the workbook aspect of it.

Aline: As a therapist, I assign homework between sessions. Writing down feelings is an important part of processing them. I find that my patients make more progress in changing when they are active participants. They get more insights, and they move through pain faster. SexSmart is so full of information that unless readers highlight the text and choose and complete some of the exercises which fit them, they won’t get the full benefit. In the homework, I always make the reader write down what the positives are that they need to focus on–what they wished they had said or done, or what they need to do now to fix the problem. The homework can help the reader transform some sad memories and realizations into targeted plans for change.

I plead with you, readers, do the workbook! It’s kind of like when you have a vivid, detailed dream at night, and you want to get up and write it down, but you’re too lazy. And so you rationalize it and tell yourself, “Wow, that dream was so amazing, so unusual, so wild. I’ll be sure to remember it when I am up.’ And then, at 7:00AM, when the alarm goes off, you wake up and say, “Man, that was a wild dream I had last night. Something about a cake. Hmmm. Blue cake?? Hmm.”

For Women Only: Enhance Your Sexuality with Uncommon Herbs

If you, like half of the women in America, want to enhance your sexuality, perhaps some uncommon herbs can help.

A number of herbs have been proven to help improve women’s sex lives. You may already know about some of the better known herbs, such as ginseng, peppermint, coffee, bayberry, and cayenne, but there are many other herbs that have been proven to have a positive effect on sexual desire, performance, and lubrication, all of which are important to a healthy and enjoyable sex life.

Here are a few examples of those types of lesser known, but effective herbs, many of which are available in the form of pills, tinctures, or teas:

Catuaba comes from a bush that grows in South America. For centuries, it has been used as an aphrodisiac by the native people, and has recently become one of the most popular sexually stimulating plants in extensive circulation in South America. Catuaba works by stimulating the central nervous system, especially those nerve functions that control human sexual response.

Cuscuta comes from the seeds of the dodder plant, which grows in many different varieties in many places throughout North America. Cuscuta serves to stimulate and normalize the parts of the nervous system that control the sexual organs. It can be helpful in treating premature ejaculation, and besides revitalizing the sexual organs, it can be used as an aid to urination. People who use cuscuta also report that it has an pleasingly stimulating effect upon their general nervous system.

Damiana is a small shrub that grows primarily in Mexico, and has long been used for various medicinal purposes. Like other herbs of its type, damiana stimulates the function of the sympathetic nerves that are involved in controlling the sexual organs, as well as those controlling the urinary system and the organs involved in the digestive and respiratory systems. It has a positive effect on the functions of the sexual organs and urinary system, in much the same way as the female hormone progesterone. That makes damiana especially helpful for women.

The fruit of the hawthorn comes from a tree that can be found in temperate zones throughout the world. It has been shown to stimulates heart function and blood flow, and a healthy blood circulation is critical to sexual performance and enjoyment for both men and women. It can improve a woman’s engorgement and man’s erection.

There are other herbs that can help boost your sex life, as well. Study the available literature carefully and as with anything else you put into your body, use caution and common sense when using herbs to enhance your sexuality.

The Nightmare: A Tale of Childhood Sexual Assault

Vi har det mesta för dem flesta smaker och intressen. Era nya Sexleksaker skickar vi oftast samma dag ni lägger er order, givetvis helt anonymt och diskret. Titta gärna in i vår avdelning med nyheter, där kommer alla nya artiklar från de största leverantörerna världen runt upp, så fort de kommer ut på marknaden. Vi har artiklar för både killar och tjejer.

Once again I found myself standing on the endless plane. All was gray and bleak. The plane was littered with crevices and holes of varying sizes. Each emitted a gaseous steam. The noxious odors from this steam rose off a bubbling grayish ooze that threatened to swallow me up.

Night after night I found myself back here, knowing that my pursuer was close. Feeling his eyes on me, I slowly looked over my shoulder. There, hovering over me, he waited. He appeared as a large boulder like blob, dripping with the ooze from the pits before me. “It’s all right, honey,” he said. “Just don’t tell your mother.” And the chase began.

I ran in terror, the blob chasing me. In time it would catch me, knocking me into one of the pits. I would catch myself on the edge of the opening and claw my way back to the bleak plane above, only for the chase to continue like some strange cat and mouse game. Night after night this scene continued. This began in early childhood and continued until I was a young adult. Still, even though the night terrors had left, the terror remained in the back of my mind, surfacing at the most inopportune times.

Victims of childhood sexual assault have many such vignettes to share. Becoming an adult doesn’t make the fear go away. Becoming a grandmother doesn’t make the fear go away. Even talking about the feelings, writing about them, sketching, painting, or studying why the feelings are there, do not make them go away. Confronting your victimizer doesn’t even end the problem.

Many people believe that such assault doesn’t happen that often. It’s easy to hear someone discussing the issue and turn your head away. It’s not so easy when you are forced to recognize that out of every 10,000 children enrolled in day care in America 5.5 of them have been, or are now, victims of sexual assault, and an average of 8.9 children out of every 10,000 is sexually abused in the home (Finkelhor & Browne, 1986).

Was that not enough? Think about this. Twenty-seven percent of women and sixteen percent of men report having been sexually abused as children. These victimizations usually occurred before the age of 8-year-old. The offenders were generally 10 or more years older than the victim (Finkelhor et al., 1990), and almost always a family member or close family friend. The victims were usually sworn to secrecy, often at the fear of harm coming to themselves or someone they loved.

It is estimated that there are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America today. The United States Department of Justice estimates that 31% of all women in prison were abused as children (1991). It is also estimated that 95% of teenage prostitutes were first victims of childhood sexual assault (CCPCA, 1992).

For boys, there is a stigma attached to such assault. Boys and men rarely admit to being victimized. This means they are seldom treated for such assaults. “When sexually abused boys are not treated, society must later deal with the resulting problems, including crime, suicide, drug use and more sexual abuse,” said Dr. William C. Holmes of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, in an MSNBC interview. “The earlier studies found that one-third of juvenile delinquents, 40 percent of sexual offenders and 76 percent of serial rapists report they were sexually abused as youngsters. The suicide rate among sexually abused boys was 1 to 14 times higher, and reports of multiple substance abuse among sixth-grade boys who were molested was 12 to 40 times greater.” Holmes said a review of the studies leads him to believe 10 percent to 20 percent of all boys are sexually abused in some way. But widely varying definitions of sexual abuse in the studies and differences in who was being studied make it difficult to accurately gauge the prevalence of sexual abuse (MSNBC News, Dec 1998).

What are some of the long-term effects of these abuses? I spent most of my child hood in turmoil. I was fearful of men long into adulthood. It took years of work to repair my shattered self-esteem which was accompanied by depression and difficulty with relationships. The difficulty with relationships continues even today, so many years later.

Many people report a variety of anxieties, unexplained anger and hostility, and inappropriate sexual behaviors. A tendency towards substance abuse or over-eating is not unusual. Generally, adult victims of incest have a severely strained relationship with their parents that is marked by feelings of mistrust, fear, ambivalence, hatred, and betrayal. These feelings may extend to all family members (Tsai and Wagner, 1978). I can only remember harboring such feelings against my mother, for not protecting me. I found it so much easier to forgive my father (my abuser). In fact, I still cannot honestly say that I have ever forgiven my mother. Somehow, I felt that she could have stopped it but wouldn’t.

The memories of my earliest encounter with sexual assault are clouded with a sinister fantasia that unfolded in the room around me. I was less than five years old. I know that Mother was gone. She was in the hospital, giving birth to one of my younger brothers. For some reason, Daddy had taken me to his bed.

I remember a great pressure on top of me. Then, I was lifted up, off the bed, floating in the room. All around me the objects in the room came to life. They were all laughing at me, jeering and taunting me. That’s all I remember. As an adult, with a master’s degree in psychology, I know what happened. As a Christian, I thank God that I can’t remember it.